Thursday, January 22, 2009

This is me (obviously in the blue dress) last summer...I gained a couple more pounds after this, can't believe I let myself gain all that weight back.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my renewed desire to eat right and exercise. I tried so hard for so long to get back on track and just couldn't do it for more than a couple days. I made every excuse to eat more, and not workout. Suddenly, as if I awaking from a bad dream, I have the desire and determination to do this. I did it before, I will do it again. I keep reminding myself that I am going to take baby steps. I am not going to change my plan if someone else challenges me to do so. I am going to stick with my plan and my goals. It is for me and my health. I will continue to be happy with small wins, or, I should say, losses. My goal weight is based on past performance, not any weight chart. When I get to that weight, I will work to maintain it...if I lose more, great, if I don't, I will be happy with where I am. I look at the pictures of me when I was at my lowest weight and I would be thrilled to look like that again, even though it is 15-20 pounds higher than what all the weight charts say. I am starting small with exercise...30 minutes a day, when that stops working I will add minutes... just as I have planned. When I get to my goal weight, I will start using my P90X DVDs that I got last year and couldn't do cause they were too advanced for my lard butt!

I think my turning point was when I started wearing clothes that fit me! My pants were so tight and uncomfortable. I had to wear body shapers to fit into them and they were still tight! I felt miserable and looked terrible! I bought pants a size bigger...a hard thing for women to do. It is odd that I was up to my highest weight again, but not my biggest size. When I started feeling good in the pants I was wearing, I started to have more confidence in myself and I felt better. Now my pants are a little big in the waist and that gives me even more confidence. I look forward to putting those smaller pants on without the body shaper squeezing my butt and thighs! It is hard to admit my failure to myself, but once I did, it helped me to move on and be successful again!

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